I Have Questions For You
My new iPhone X buzzes in the pocket of my jeans three times since the moment I’ve sat down in this class. Who could it be? I know it’s not my best friend Elysha sitting quietly in her usual desk beside mine. She’s usually the cause of my phone vibration. Even while together, she texts me long chains of gossip she’s heard about the rest of our classmates. She’ll definitely make a skilled journalist since she’s always in everyone else’s business.
The buzzing can’t be my mother worrying if I’m safe while out. She is at the front chalkboard scratching some numbers I can’t read onto it with her trademarked blue chalk. Her spiral curls always bounce when she gets this into a problem. While she’s facing the board, I slip my phone out of my pocket and onto my lap. Focusing on the screen helps me ignore Elysha’s judgemental stare. She’s always been the one to closely follow rules. So her gentle poke to my thigh with her long red acrylic nails is expected. “You have three new matches! Log in to your account to see,” my newest notification reads on the screen. When the professor, my mother, clears her throat, Elysha and I shoot up to perfect posture and focus our gaze back on the gibberish covering the blackboard.
I’ve never had a boyfriend before. Well, I did have one in middle school for two weeks, but that doesn’t really count looking back as a 19 year old. Shuffling into my first semester in college, everyone was dumbfounded to hear 19 year old eternally single human still exists nowadays. Dating apps are like the new Facebook for a college student and I came to learn that fact very quickly. When I walked into the first Gay-Straight Alliance meeting of the year as a quiet freshman, I was introduced to a popular dating app called “HIM.” Because I was the token gay boy addition to the group, it was a must that I at least had a profile. The first meeting quickly turned into a mini photoshoot for my new HIM profile. Why not? First year of college is always filled with firsts for everyone. What could go wrong?
Elysha snatched the phone resting on my right thigh faster than I can even blink. My annoyed glare is no match for the scolding her icy blue eyes return. So I just sigh and pout for the rest of the class. I didn’t realize how much I was staring at the clock until it turns one o’clock and students jump up and file out of the room. Elysha drags me out of the room with by my arm instead of her usual nail grip to the ear, which I’m secretly thankful for.
On the way to her dorm room, my phone buzzes again so I finally decide to open the HIM app to investigate. Even with all of the messages I’d been getting since that first Alliance meeting, I hadn’t opened any of the messages until now. One specific message catches my eye and it comes from a picture labeled with the name: Harden. The preview starts with, “I think you’re…” A warmness inside me flows all around which somehow encourages me to tap my thumb on the curly haired man in the tiny square picture. The full message reads, “I think you’re absolutely lovely, Thomas.” With that, I can’t control the smile pulling at the corner of my lips. I quickly conceal it before Elysha sees. Nobody will know unless this advances further.
“Thank you, Harden.” I reply while biting my lip and then quickly scan his profile once more. Harden was a six foot tall man with caramel-colored curly locks, a deep dimple in both of his cheeks and bright blue eyes just like my girl, E. The pictures he provided included a lot of him outside hiking or camping. As I was examining the last photo, I got another message from him.
“You’re very welcome, love. Tell me all about you.” Harden’s new message replied. So I went in listing off my age, school and anything else that I could quickly tell him. “Nice. But I’d like to know about the real you. Not just what you want to do for a living.” He replied straight after mine. This started a five month long chain of messages about the real stuff. I felt like I got to know him better than any of my friends and he got to know me; specifically our insecurities and daily struggles. Little did I know letting this man in was a horrible choice.
