I think the biggest thing my group needs to focus on for revision is making our pieces more cohesive. While reading over the parts that we have so far, I’m noticing a theme throughout. This theme is that it’s easy to tell that more than one person wrote these together. In revision, we should look to read each one aloud and edit them to make sure they flow better and work better as a more cohesive writing piece. Most of our pieces also seem to repeat the same things a few times. It may help us to fix this by looking at all of them together. If we have them side by side we can decide which info should go where and which information should be removed. Another thing that we got a lot of comments about in peer review was about our wording. Looking at our pieces slowly and out loud might help us find the correct wording to portray what we are actually going for. It’s important that our goals don’t come off as anything other than positive to the potential funder we are communicating with.
